This is a post I wrote after Christmas. It is about illness and how much it sucks. I am very fortunate to have all my grandparents. One of my grandmothers has Parkinson’s Diesease.
When I was younger, I used to spend a lot of time at my Grandparents house because my dad worked offshore, two week rotation, and my mum worked night shift. So when I wasn’t at school I was often at their house because it made more sense for us to sleep there until we could look after ourselves if both parents were working.
I don’t visit my grandparents as often as I should. This is partially selfishness as I like to spend my days off doing other things and I often feel I have a lack of things to talk about with them. The other part is because it kind of makes me sad because I hate seeing my Gran how she is now.
We spent Christmas at my parents this year and my Grandparents joined us for dinner. I don’t think my Gran realised it was Christmas day as she often made reference to shops being open and we would say ‘but they’ll be closed today, it’s Christmas’.
After we’d eaten we exchanged gifts. Once everyone was finished my Gran says but we’ve missed some people. She starts to look around and ask about my cousins and Aunts and Uncles. They had already been to see them that day and they hadn’t been with her for hours.
Eventually she asked three or four times that she thought it was time to go home, probably because it was dark outside and even though it was only 5 o’clock, I think she thought it was later in the evening as we’d just eaten supper.
We bring her home and as we drive along past the school she asks why we are going this way. It’s a bumpy road but the other way home is too so I explain this is the quickest way, although not the most comfortable. When we arrive at the house however, she asks what are we doing here? Why have we come? She looks confused at why we’ve brought her home. It fucking breaks my heart. Once we are out of the car and on the way to the door she seems perfectly comfortable that we are going inside and happy enough once home, just tired.
It might have been that this particular day was a bad one because she hadn’t taken all her meds. Grandad noticed there were too many left to take and a dosage had been missed at some point, most likely because she didn’t have lunch that day.
From my point of view, her life must suck. She never really leaves the house as she doesnt like to walk far and she doesn’t like to bother people by going out in the wheelchair. She also hates trying to get in and out of the car as they are just not designed for people with limited mobility.
But I wonder if due to her increased ability to not remember things she thinks everything is fine, I think she misses baking and being able to do things for herself because her tremour doesn’t really allow it. But maybe she doesn’t dislike it that much as long as she has company. She won’t remember not remembering things I suppose.
Anyway, illness sucks. She’s already had to fight cancer in her lifetime. It would be great if PD would kindly fuck off.